A month or so ago, I began to struggle with a specific situation in my life. I was convinced it was a fluke and that it would quickly resolved. I attempted to push onward. It has not been easy of successful. There have been many days of tears, frustration and confusion. I have been very unclear of my next steps or how I can make things better.
After a particularly rough Monday, and an equally tough Tuesday, I finally confronted someone about how I was feeling and some of the measures I was considering. This person tried to put me at ease, and did to a small extent. However, I left with more unknowns. I decided to give it a few weeks and re-evaluate from there.
By the beginning of last week, I needed a break. I needed to get away. I needed a rest. Some family time was exactly what was needed. I took off Thursday night and ran away, trying not to think about the issue that I was leaving behind me, or hoping to leave behind me and not think about. It worked, for the most part. From Thursday to Sunday, I was able to spend some much-needed time with some pretty great people. It was such a freeing time. When I got back to town on Sunday, I was blessed with hearing from Elder Nash at church and then Bishop Richard L Burton at a fireside. I was very optimistic about returning to life.
Needless to say, it was in vain. Since returning, I have spent much time crying, praying, meditating and trying to find peace that is so badly needed. Last night, I decided to go to the one place where peace is promised and is assured. I went to the temple.
Photo from lds.org https://www.lds.org/church/temples/gallery?lang=eng#
For a few hours, I was freed from the problems outside and I could just reflect. I left with positive feelings and with the goal of having patience to get through this incredibly difficult situation. It was interesting, as I got in my car and drove away, the worry-free feeling was dissipated and the same cloud came over me. This time, however, I was able to calm myself.
I wish I could say that this was the end of the story and that by going to the temple I was able to get the peace that helped put me on the right path. However, the trial is still very real. I know that we are given trials for a reason. They strengthen us. They teach us. They prepare us. We have been promised that blessings come after trials. We can and will be lifted up.
I am hopeful for more peace, guidance and understanding over the next few weeks. The temple did give me a starting point and a point of peace that I can try to remember when the going gets tough. It has also prepared me for General Conference this weekend.
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