The Past Month

Over the past month, I have learned a lot of things about myself. Here are a just few:

~ I am an independent person.
~ I'm not very good at asking for help.
~ I laugh a lot, when I am masking pain.
~ I like to be able to go and do the things that I want without having to wait or rely on someone else.
~ I have good friends and family who are willing to help me, even when I try to avoid their help.

Wearing the boot for the past month has been an adventure and a very humbling experience. It is so much more debilitating than I ever thought it would be. The pain has been interesting, to say the least. I used crutches for the first couple weeks, because walking and balancing on the boot was not easy, especially when you are clumsy  to begin with. I took a few falls with the boot. Once going down stairs (got a cool bruise from that one) and another time getting into a car. Once I was done with the crutches, I balanced better on level surfaces. Uneven surfaces like grass and gravel path are not fun.

I have been told that things look okay and was told only to wear the boot when the pain was bothersome. So far, I have only gone one day without it. My foot still gets swollen and there is still some pain and discomfort, but it is better than it was over a month ago. I still wear the booth when I know there will be a lot of walking, especially with all the swelling. If the pain and swelling persist, I will be going back to the doctor. I really don't want to, so I am hoping and praying that it gets better before I do that.

One of the biggest trials of this has been asking for help and not being able to much of anything by myself. I cannot even begin to list the people who have given me rides or helped me out. My coworkers always made sure I was taken care of with rides, as well as getting water or other things from the downstairs area (my desk is on the upper floor). I have had many friends who have taken me grocery shopping, to church, come and visited me, taken me to appointments and activities and so much more. I was able to go up and see my family, thanks to a good friend, and make another out of town trip, thanks to a friend. I am so appreciative of the help. Thank you all!

I dislike asking for help. It makes me feel weak and pathetic. To those who helped, thank you for not making me feel like a burden and for willingly helping. It was a hard thing for me to do and it was so humbling to see how many people were willing to help. I am so blessed.

One of my struggles has been with wondering and asking why this had to happen. In many ways, I still do not understand. However, it has shown me that I do have a support system down here. The timing was the worst, in my eyes. I was so frustrated when it happened two weeks before my half marathon. I was so ready to run it. However, I am grateful that it happened when it did and not two weeks later, during the marathon. The day of the half marathon was a hard day. I may have cried a time or two. But there were good people around and I was able to keep busy so I didn't focus too much on it.

As you can see, there have been trials, but there have also been blessings. I have learned a lot about myself and others. I am so grateful that I was able to learn these things.