Hard times will make us stronger, is what I've heard. Apparently, I'm going through a point in life where I need to be stronger. The past couple weeks have been super tough and have definitely taken a toll on me and my life.
Without too many details, I was sick and lost my voice. Today is Day 16 of the voice being gone. It's frustrating, to be completely honest. I want to play. I want to have fun. I want to call people up and make plans. I want to talk to my family and friends. I want to be able to fully do my job (phone calls and all). I want to know why.
I miss you all. I don't mind doing things with people, as long as they don't mind me whispering. My voice will come back. It has too. I'm seriously not a needy person. I'm probably too independent. It is difficult for me to ask for help or to know what I need/want. My pride makes me think I can do it on my own. Plus, it is second nature to me to take care of myself, so I have kept much to myself. I don't want to burden others with my trials. In fact, the picture below is how I feel right now.
|I used this picture on my GP blog, but thought it was so fitting for this post. I'll try not to duplicate the two blogs too much.|
However, it is not about what I want, it is what Heavenly Father needs me to have and go through, even if I don't understand the reasons. I did get a blessing and was told some amazing things. There is hope. With each day, my hope fades a little, but I have to stay strong.
This has changed things in my life a little bit. I had some big plans for this year and they most likely will not happen this year now. There is always next year. There is a chapter or two of my life that will need to end, though it will be hard. Faith requires action, and those actions produce results.
My voice will come back, and that's an encouraging thought. Life will be good. Sometimes, I wish that I could see the end from the beginning. However, this too will pass and all this will be for my good. There are so many good things to enjoy and love about life. In reality, I need to be more grateful.
There have been good times through this all. I've learned that I can still win quiz games. My coworkers and young women have all experienced "The Squeak". In fact, my new nickname at work is Squeakers. That's what happens when you laugh and have no voice. I have found reasons to laugh. I've still been able to work, both at my job and at the temple. More good will come too. I'm sure of that.
Thanks for being so wonderful. I promise not to be so neglectful.