A Letter To You! :)

Dear Family and Friends,

Hard times will make us stronger, is what I've heard. Apparently, I'm going through a point in life where I need to be stronger. The past couple weeks have been super tough and have definitely taken a toll on me and my life.

Without too many details, I was sick and lost my voice. Today is Day 16 of the voice being gone. It's frustrating, to be completely honest. I want to play. I want to have fun. I want to call people up and make plans. I want to talk to my family and friends. I want to be able to fully do my job (phone calls and all). I want to know why.

I miss you all. I don't mind doing things with people, as long as they don't mind me whispering. My voice will come back. It has too. I'm seriously not a needy person. I'm probably too independent. It is difficult for me to ask for help or to know what I need/want. My pride makes me think I can do it on my own.  Plus, it is second nature to me to take care of myself, so I have kept much to myself. I don't want to burden others with my trials. In fact, the picture below is how I feel right now.

I used this picture on my GP blog, but thought it was so fitting for this post. I'll try not to duplicate the two blogs too much.

However, it is not about what I want, it is what Heavenly Father needs me to have and go through, even if I don't understand the reasons. I did get a blessing and was told some amazing things. There is hope. With each day, my hope fades a little, but I have to stay strong.

This has changed things in my life a little bit. I had some big plans for this year and they most likely will not happen this year now. There is always next year. There is a chapter or two of my life that will need to end, though it will be hard. Faith requires action, and those actions produce results. 

My voice will come back, and that's an encouraging thought. Life will be good. Sometimes, I wish that I could see the end from the beginning. However, this too will pass and all this will be for my good. There are so many good things to enjoy and love about life. In reality, I need to be more grateful.

There have been good times through this all. I've learned that I can still win quiz games. My coworkers and young women have all experienced "The Squeak". In fact, my new nickname at work is Squeakers. That's what happens when you laugh and have no voice. I have found reasons to laugh. I've still been able to work, both at my job and at the temple. More good will come too. I'm sure of that.

Thanks for being so wonderful. I promise not to be so neglectful.

Your Friend,

Whitney

New Blog

Since my diagnosis of Gastropresis, I felt that part of the reason that I have this condition is to help people going through similar situation or through hard times and trials. After much thinking, I have taken a step that will allow me to reach to to more people and help others. I have started a blog which will go through my journey: the diagnosis, the management, and living with it daily. I will also use it to try to help motivate, give hope and show how great life is, even through tough time.

Here is the link to that blog: http://whitneyslifewithgastroparesis.blogspot.com/

If you know anyone who struggles with this condition, digestive issues, health struggles or anything, please let them know. My hope is that this will bring hope and strength to those going through difficult times. If we all work together, our hard times will be a lot easier to get through.

More Lessons Learned

Are you excited? Well, if not, get excited. Why, you ask. It is because it is time for another installment of Lessons Learned, brought to you by .....Me!!! These are in no particular order.

~ Little kids are the best and say the sweetest things.
~ A good hike helps relieve stress and is actually super relaxing
~ I could seriously handle working 4-10 hour days, if it would give me an extra day to relax.
~ Allergies and colds have similar symptoms. However, colds get worse.
~ Losing your voice multiple times in one year may be a sign to learn sign language.
~ It is kind of hard to throw a party when you don't go to the party.
~ A good visiting teacher is great to have.
~ Baking is also good therapy.
~ Keeping secrets us easy to do when you don't have a voice.
~ Watching old TV shows from childhood, brings back lots of crazy memories.
~ Life never seems to go as planned.
~ If you must fall on a hike (if you are clumsy or such), the best place to fall is near the end.
~ Sitting alone in the Celestial Room for 45 minutes is such an amazing experience.
~ Older couples are so cute.
~ Two baby blessings = not sitting where you usually sit at church.
~ Home teachers are nice to have, but when they stay 1 1/2 hours, it throws off your schedule for the rest of the night.
~ Weeds make good fall-catchers.
~ The Brother of Jared is one amazing person and examples.
~ Lots of squats, the day after a long hike, makes your thighs super-sore.
~ Having patience is not easy, but is worth it.
~ Catching up with good friends is wonderful.
~ Honey is a great remedy.
~ No matter how hard you have it, there is always someone out there who has it harder.

These were all things that I learned in the past week. We'll stop there for now, but there will be another installment sometime.

Birthday Celebrations (Only Two Months Later)

My birthday was pretty great this year. I totally am blessed. My birthday was on a Sunday this year and it was definitely a full weekend.

When I got off work on Friday, I headed up to Poky to spend some time with the padres. They took me out to dinner that night. We had a good time. Later that night, my aunt, uncle, cousin and her husband came into town, so I spent some time over there talking and catching up.

Saturday morning was General Conference. For the first time in I don't know how long, I was able to watch conference with my dad. It was so nice. In between sessions, we went and visited with the family. After the afternoon session, my mom and I met up with the rest of the family and ended up talking for a while longer. Then we headed to dinner. I left from dinner and headed back. I had some errands to run, groceries to buy and things to do before Sunday.

For some reason, when I got home, I could not get my front door unlocked. I blamed it on it being late and having my arms full of groceries. It turned out that my roommate's siblings had booby trapped our door, thinking that I was at home. I even found a note in the kitchen asking me not to use the front door. Oops! Got that note a little too late. Ha Ha. Oh well. 

On Sunday, I spent the day watching conference at the church. The sessions were amazing. Right after the second session, I headed over to Andrea & Robert's house. They were throwing me a small birthday party. We played games and talked. They also had bought me a cookie dough ice cream cake. It was so yummy and so nice. 

After that, my roommate had made a cake and we had some people over for cake and ice cream. It was really nice and fun. She decorated the house with balloons, which I think are long lasting balloons because they are still in our front room, and other decor. My cake had 48 candles, which made me laugh. We also played a few games. We are such kids at heart. 

It really was a nice weekend and day. I got to spend time with so many wonderful people, both family and friends. The best part was that it was not stressful. It was super relaxing and enjoyable. Thanks everyone for making it a fantastic and wonderful weekend. You are the best. :)

Defining Moments

Throughout life, there are been many defining moments for me. Moments that have tried me to my core and ones that have helped shaped me to who I am today. I'd like to share a few of those with you.

I made the decision that I wanted to be a missionary when I was a kid. It was one of my greatest desires in life. However, when the time came for me to make the decision to go, it became a very serious manner. I remember numerous conversations with family and friends as I tried to decide. My dad gave me some advice that made sense. He told me to fast, pray and act. He encouraged me to talk to the Bishop, even if I hadn't made a decision, so he could help me. The day of the appointment, I remember fasting, praying, studying and  making every effort to make a choice. The answer did not come until I was sitting in the Bishop's office and he started offering a prayer. I knew then what needed to happen. Not only that, but my testimony of fasting and prayer was strengthened.

The mission, of course, was a refiners fire, and there was lots to refine. There were so many moments when you just trusted what you felt and went and did. One such occurred in my fourth area. My companion and I had just finished Spanish study time and were preparing to go knock doors. We got into the car and prayed. As we prayed, the car was filled and we both knew that there was a very specific place that we needed to go, we just didn't know where. We drove for a bit and stopped to look at a map. As we looked at the map, my companion started to cry and pointed to a street saying that's where we needed to go. So we went. I don't remember the particulars, but we decided to start at one end. There were no answers, but we kept going, feeling like there was a reason why. At the last door we knocked on, someone answered and immediately went to get someone. We were let in and met an extremely special woman and her amazing little daughter. This taught me to go and do as directed, even if you are not sure why. There is something beautiful that awaits.

It's no secret that I have struggled with my physical health. It has definitely been one the greatest trials for me. While trying to get my stomach under control, it was very easy to become discourage or frustrated. Many days, I didn't have energy to care. One day, I was trying some tomato soup to see if that would be good. I had a little and then had a couple visitors. While they were visiting, the pain in my body became intense, but I tried to hide it. After they left, I got upset because even soup wasn't going to work. (I later learned that other soups work but tomato does not). This whole health thing was a wild roller coaster ride. Finally, one day, a point came when I knew that I needed to get and stay in a good place. Thankfully, I received the help needed from a loving Heavenly Father. This struggle in my life and turned in to the greatest blessing because I know there is a reason that I have it, I can see who is in control of my life and have been able to learn and know that whatever happens is His will. It has given me the chance to help and lift others. I have learned more about trust and hope. It's made me, me!

I could keep going, but I really don't want to bore you with all the crazy details of my life. All these experiences have at least one thing in common, and that is faith. Faith to make decisions, to allow myself to be lead, to overcome, to learn, to act, to share, and so many more.

 Elder Holland has said "In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited. ...When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes."

These past couple weeks, I have made a few decisions that will require me to walk by faith and not sight. I know that I will be guided but will need to rely on my faith and hope that what I'm doing is what is right. It's not always the easiest thing.  This is easier said than done. As we exercise faith and act upon what we feel is right, than blue skies will come and the storms will fade. We will be able to understand the why and these experiences will become defining moments for us.

Flying Kites and Ice Skating

My friend Clover and I planned a super-fun weekend, back in March. It is always a blast when she is involved and this one was exactly that.

I headed down to her place shortly after I finished my Saturday morning shift at the temple. It was a little bit windy (ok, maybe really windy) which worked out well since flying kites was the first thing on the agenda. We went to soccer field area by a park and fire station. As you will see by the pictures, the wind was blowing.

We were a little wind-blown after that. Isn't this just the best picture ever!

After flying kites, we ran to the store to get a few things and went back to Clover's place for a quick dinner. Why so quick? Because we were heading to Disney on Ice:!

We don't look as crazy now! 

The show told three different Disney stories: The Princess and The Frog, Cinderella, and Tangled. It was so incredible to see the talent there. The costumes were wonderful and how the skaters can skate and perform in them, is amazing. At intermission, the lady sitting next to us asked us if we were skaters and we told her now. Then she asked if we were dancers. :) Apparently we look like skaters or dancers. I'm ok with that. 

Below are a few or my personal pictures. 

Sorry about the sideways pictures. It was so neat and we had so much fun seeing the skating, tricks, flying through the air and more. We headed back to her place and were so tired that we literally went to start a movie and didn't finish it because we were falling asleep. It was such a wonderful time! 

Bucket List

Last year, around my birthday, I decided to set some goals of things to accomplish before the next birthday. I showed it to some friends and asked for advice and suggestions. After compiling the final list, I made a sign with each goal on it and hung it on my bedroom door so I would see it everyday. Accomplishing everything on that list was always on my mind and with the help and encouragement of family and friends, I basically accomplished it all. Here is what I did:

1) Submit and article to the New Era or Ensign - Writing has always been a passion of mine. It is a way for me to vent frustrations, to explain what I know or have fun. That is why, when I was picking a career, journalism was one of the first things that came to mind. After my initial diagnosis, and in the months and years following, I have learned many lessons from the condition and received many blessings. I took the opportunity to write those down, in the form of an article. I had a friend read it and had me send a copy of it to her. It turned out that she knew someone who works for the Ensign and she sent the article on to her. Wow! I don't expect that it will be published but just knowing that someone there has read my story in incredible.

2) Run a 10K - This is where the basically comes in to play. Initially, this was a 5K, but a friend convinced me I could do a 10K, so I set the goal for that. I set a date of October 20th to do this one. I had been running, training and had a set schedule to accomplish this goal. However, this schedule was messed up due to me getting bronchitis and laryngitis. Running is not the best thing with those.By the 20th, I was healthy enough to run, but probably not a 10K. I went out and ran, thinking positive thoughts, looking ahead and pushing myself a little harder and a little more. I ended up running a 5K, which was technically the original goal, but not. This one was accomplished how it could be at the time.

3) Leave Idaho or Utah - My vacations since coming home from the mission have always been to visit family and friends in these two states. Sad, I know. That is why I set this goal. After setting this goal, I found out a friend of mine was moving to Hawaii and I decided that was going to be my vacation. With a lot of support and encouragement (because I am really not good at spending money and doing crazy things), I bought my plane tickets. My bosses were on board for the whole thing and everything worked out so well. It was such an incredible experience and since then, I have kind of caught the travel bug. I really want to travel more places and experience new things.

4) Attend a Professional Sporting Event - My first thought on this one was to go to a Basketball or Soccer game. I almost went on a date to a professional soccer game, which would have been amazing, but I couldn't make it at the time it was going to start. Sad day. :( However, I decided that ice skating is a sport too, so I bought tickets to go to Disney on Ice! It was an amazing show (I will blog more about that weekend, with pictures later). I wasn't sure whether or not to count it, but when you see the athleticism or the skaters, there really is no question or doubt about it.

5) Fly a Kite with Clover - This one sounds easy, but it really was not that easy. Let me explain. Clover is a good friend of mine, who helped me put this list together. She insisted that I put that on the list. However, about the time that the weather got really nice for kite flying, she ended up moving and we had a really hard time trying to meet up, when there would be time to fly kites and the weather was decent. We did finally accomplish this one as well, but it took a lot more effort than I would have imagined and required a few more steps, that weren't originally part of the plan. It was great!

Those are some of the things that I accomplished in a year. Pretty good stuff!!!