Full of Gratitude

Last year, I was on top of life and kept a list of things I was grateful for, throughout the whole month of November. This year, I did not such things. I hadn't focused much on gratitude to be perfectly honest. In fact, I wasn't sure I was going to celebrate Thanksgiving this year because going home wasn't seeming like an option. With my job, we had Thanksgiving off, but that's it. Up until a week or a week and a half before, I still didn't know if I was going to have the day after Thanksgiving off. Ironically, it didn't bother me too much except I wouldn't see my family. I brushed that one to the side saying that there was always Christmas.

I did end up getting the day off, which ended up kick starting me into the gratitude frame of mind. This was the best thing for me at that time. Here is a small and incomplete list of the things that I am so incredibly thankful for this year.

~ Coworkers who were willing to work so I didn't have to.

~ My dad, for being a support, an amazing listener, a worthy priesthood holder, and an incredible example to me.

~ My mom, for her love, dedication and example of charity to everyone she meets.

~ My sister, for always being willing to be there and love us all, irregardless of the circumstances.

~ My brother for helping me to have fun with life and seeing that life is what we make of it.

~ My nephews and niece, for their magical hugs, fun energy, their child-like enthusiasm and so much more.

~ My other relatives who make being a part of a family so much fun and give an added measure of joy.

~ Knowing that I will be put in the best situations for me, when hard times come.

~ Doctors. I've seen a lot of them this year and even though much pain was endured, I am so much healthier now, than I was at the beginning of the year. Still have a bit to go.

~ Amazing friends, (Yes, I use the word amazing a lot), for being there, being supportive, helping me in innumerable ways, and the joy and laughter they've brought.

~ The gospel and knowing that the answers I need will come in the right time, which is not always my timing.

~ That families are forever and I can forever be with mine

~ The feeling and spirit of the Holidays. This year they seem to mean more to me than before.

~ Progress. Last year I was unable to even produce a note of singing during Christmas songs and such. This year, I can get a word or two out, I'm not there yet, but am getting better.

~ My patriarchal blessing. I'd lost it in my numerous moves this year, and when I finally read it again, the guidance I needed was right there.

There are so many other things that I could add, but that would take forever. This is just a glimpse of what makes me full of gratitude.

Discovery and Change

It's hard to believe that I started my job three months ago and have been living in this area for that long, almost. It feels like I've been here a while, but 3 months really is not that long in retrospect. It seems like yesterday, I was living in and completely enjoying all my time in Logan. A lot has happened in three months. Most importantly, I am learning more and more about myself, who I am, what I want, and how I cope. I have discovered new comfort foods and activities. This has truly been a time of self-discovery.

Who Am I?

I can give the basic answers here. I know who I am as far as being divine and a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, etc. That still does not answer who I am in a sense. There's a song that has expressed my feelings lately:"I'm just a girl, trying to find my place in this world.".  I'm learning that many people feel this way. They desire to find their niche. They want to have a purpose. In reality, most of our life is spent discovering who we are, because we are constantly changing.

What Do I Want?

Before moving down here, I was convinced that all I wanted was to be healthy, have a stable financial situation and have my steady support system of my family and friends. Ironically, I moved father away from family, and most friends. I had to re-evaluate what I wanted. Here is what I found. I want stability, in many senses. I want to be a part of something. I want to fit in. I want to feel wanted and needed. I want to make a difference.

How I Cope?

The short answer to this question is, I don't. However, I am working on that. I have found when I have a "bad stomach day" or a rough day, I want to sit in my room and do be alone, in hopes of avoiding or discussing what is up. This is NOT good. These feelings need to come out. This past week, I had an extremely difficult day and did not want to talk to anyone. However, I knew that if I kept it in, I would lose sleep and that I would let the issues eat me alive. Talking it out with a roommate was one of the best things I did that day.

Part of my coping has shown me my go to comfort foods and activities that make life all the better. My comfort foods consist of Crazy Bread, Italian Cheese Bread, Toast, Macaroni and Cheese, and Cuatro Leches Ice Cream (vanilla ice cream, with tres leches cake bits and a dulce de leche swirl). The ice cream is amazing. You can see the stress drain away as you eat it, or so my roommate told me as I ate it. I believe it too, because I felt so much better after eating it. Ha Ha.

I have also discovered activities that help me. Being outside is a huge thing for me. On my lunch break, some days I will go out to my car, roll down the windows, let the hair flow through and read a book. So nice! I have recently become addicted to nature photography and love the beauty of the earth. Along with that, I have re-discovered that being active is a big deal. Running. Dancing (where no one can see). Walking. Whatever. These all help me to feel better and are needed after looking at my list of comfort foods. Ha Ha.

To assure that this post is taken in the right spirit. I am changing and becoming a better person everyday. As much as I loved where I was, I am grateful for the change. It is allowing me to examine myself and be stronger and more assured of who I am and what I want. I was comfortable with where I was at and who I was becoming, but that is not who I needed to be. We are all bound for greatness and in order to achieve that greatness, trials, changes, and moments of not being sure have to come. They will truly mold us into who we need to be and prepare us for what is next in life.

I Have Changed!

A Crazy September

Once upon a time there was a girl named Whitney (Hey, that's me!) who had a bit of a crazy month. Here is what her month consisted of, in no particular order.

Long walks
Lots of work
Logan Temple visit
Crazy traffic
Stake Conference
Eagle Mountain trip
Time with an amazing young woman
Trip to Logan
Mission Farewell
Visiting lots of GREAT people
Hike
Sickness
Temple Re-dedication
Nature Photography session
Quincenera
Two weeks of voicelessness
Paying off all medical bills and surgery bills
Yard Work
General Women's Broadcast

That may not seem like a lot, but believe me, It Was!!!!

Greetings

Hello again! I know it's been a while. Almost a month. It's been a crazy month at that. Let's just say it has been a month of adapting, changes, growth, discovery, adventure, and learning.

ADAPTING:

Living in a new place is hard, but I am adapting to the place, the new house, the new job and new lifestyle. It still seems strange to me not to have mutual on Tuesday night or the temple on Saturday mornings. It has been interesting to adjust to being gone over 10 hours on weekdays. It's still going to take some getting used to.

CHANGES:

Over the past month, I have changed a few things. The most important is my attitude. Instead of not wanting to be where I am, I decided that I am going to be happy with it. I have seen changes within myself in a month, which is crazy. I am also still making some changes to make life a little better everyday. Fingers are crossed.

GROWTH:

I have grown in ways that seem strange to me. I have grown to enjoy yard work. There is something relaxing about pulling weeds. I have seen growth in friendships and in my relationship with my self. One of the biggest growths that I have seen is in trusting the feelings that come and doing what they say. There have been so many experiences I have had because of this growth.

DISCOVERY:

Living in a new place allows me to discover my surroundings. I have become pretty good at finding my way around and following directions (such as street directions and such). I have discovered that once I have been somewhere once, I can usually get there on my own the next time. Usually. There are exceptions. I have also discovered new places and am excited to keep discovering new things!

ADVENTURE:

There have been some fun adventures and some not as fun ones since moving here. Truth be told, right now I feel like each new day is a new adventure to live out. I am so grateful for the people who have been a part of these adventures with me. I don't want to share them all (it would bore you), but they range from fairs, to bad traffic, to splash pads, and more. I like to look for the adventure wherever I am.

LEARNING:

I have learned so much, especially about myself and who I am. This also relates to some of the changes I want to make. I have learned to pay attention to how I am feeling and make sure I take care of myself. This is huge because I try to act all strong and warrior like when I may not be feeling the greatest. The other day, I had battled an awful headache and low energy all day. I came home and instead of doing what I had said I would, I rested and took time for myself. By the time I went to bed that night, the headache was gone. It was amazing! I have learned new things through work, my lovely roommates, and personal studies. 

The month of September will be crazy. No doubt about that. However, I am excited to see what all happens. :)

So Long to Logan

As I was getting ready to leave town on Sunday evening, I crossed paths with an old neighbor. She and I began to talk and she asked how living in the new place was. I could not think of an answer right away. She shared her own experience about moving and not knowing why, and how she did find out why until later. She shared the saying, "When one door closes, another door opens". While I believe that is true, what she said next made so much more sense. She said that after the door, sometimes there is a hall before you get to the next door. I definitely feel like I'm in a hall and am really looking forward to finding the next door.

However, I want to use this post to focus on the memories, times, and people that have been so important these past five years. I cannot even begin to explain my feelings. There have been exciting moments. There were definitely hard times. I can honestly say the hardest times I have ever been through in my life took place there. However, many amazing and rewarding experiences happened there as well. I learned more about myself and who I truly am and want to become. I  discovered new passion, hobbies and skills. This was definitely a time for molding. I am happy with who I have become.

It is strange how a place where I lived for five years, truly became my home. Going to Poky was home too, but when I was there and headed back, saying I was heading home, truly felt right. Many people wondered how it was home, without my family. It was because the people there became my family. I was blessed with so many different families and amazing friends too. My ward family, my temple family, my work family, and more. I would love to start listing names, but cannot. It would take too much space and I would leave someone out who meant so much to me. Plus, I really do not want to bore you. Just know, if you lived there, you most likely made a huge impact on me,

I have so many fond memories. Here are some of the fun ones (there have been so many). I enjoyed many hikes on may trails, Girls Camp (3 years!!!), movie nights in the park, fireworks, country dancing, mutual activities, exploring adventures, boating, Oompa Loompa dancing, random, crazy moments with roommates, volleyball games. acting out songs, singing and dancing to Spice Girls (who doesn't love them), potlucks, find raisers, Girl's Nights, working at the temple, amazing walks with great people, great runs, cave exploring, gelato, meeting and playing with kids, babysitting, my young women, the amazing leaders I've served with, the beautiful sunsets, and so much more.

I remember when I was moving into my first place, I had parked my car, unloaded it and attempted to organize it. I was in the house for 40 minutes, at the most. When I came out, there was a boot on my car. It wasn't the best start to this new experience. Thankfully, things got better, though parking was an interesting issue. In the past five years, I have had 7 roommates and lived in 4 different places. Crazy, right? I have been in three different wards, held 6 or 7 callings, I was associated with a non-profit organization for three years.

Life was not perfect, but I always had a support system there for me as I went through more health challenges than I care to remember. I've been told a couple of times that I should be done until I am at least 60 or maybe even 80. I could not have done this alone.

When I decided to attend a family ward, in stead of a YSA ward, I was worried that I was setting my self up to be friendless. However, my friends were still by my side, I made more friends, and, after my call into young womens, the girls became my friends. In all my callings, the people have served with have become some of my dearest friends.

I remember driving into the valley, from all directions and always looking for the temple first (It's beautiful and definitely my favorite, by far) and then Old Main to see if the A was blue. I remember looking out windows and off hills and mountains, thinking how beautiful the valley and all of the creations really are.

As I drove out of the valley, after two days of tears, my mind was flooded with memories and pictures of so many people, places, events and more. Certain places remind me of certain people or experiences. My heart was filled with gratitude for each. I offered a prayer of gratitude for the many wonderful things and that I will never forget these times. My eyes filled with tears.

Whether it be with a smile, or a kind word, or a fun night, or a serious and meaning conversation, those meant the world to me. Every act of service offered, was a blessing. I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done. I will miss you all so much and I will miss living in Logan.

The Crazy Life of Me!

Life has been so insanely crazy lately and with reason. It's been an adventure. Since I finally have a minute, and finally have internet, here are some of the details.

I'm healthy, FINALLY!!! I had my post-op appointment and was told that everything looked good. It was recommended to make a few changes in my diet. All in all, I am so grateful that the craziness of surgeries is over. My stomach still is my stomach, but that has become a norm.

I am employed! I started a new job on July 15th. It is definitely a new experience. Through my therapy and job hunting, I have learned the importance of making sure it is the right job and not overdoing things. I know my boundaries and have to be honest with myself and my employer and co-workers.

On top of that, I moved. This isn't one of the small moves from one apartment to another. It was from one city to another. The interesting part is that I did not have a place to live when the job started. At the end of my first week, I had a place, but couldn't move in until the first weekend of August. I am so grateful for the people who have helped me move things, or let me stay with them and helped keep me calm.

I have also been commuting on the weekends and have one more weekend left, so that I can finish up things at the temple, with moving, with my calling and see everyone I want before I am not there as frequently.

During all this, my brother graduated from college. We were able to all be together as a family and go up to Rexburg. I am so proud of him and this accomplishment. After he was finished, we were talking with one of his professors and he said that we would be seeing big things from Brady in the future. I couldn't agree more.

On top of all of this I have had reunions with different friends who are amazing. I attended a concert, drove a Uhaul, and made friends with 3 little boys by speaking Spanish to them. I also traveled to my sister's house, with my parents, for Independence Day. I'm sure there is more that I have done, but these are the main things. :)

My Dear Grandpa

My warrior of a grandpa passed away on June 5, 2014. He lived a long and fulfilling life. He was very fun-spirited and loved to tease. He would serve anyone who needed help and had so much love for his family. His eyes were so full of love when they were around. Here is his obituary. 

ROBERT HUGH IVEY
June 26, 1929 - June 5, 2014
Robert (Bob) Hugh Ivey, Sr., after enduring many medical conditions over the years, finally succumbed to the toll on his body passing away peacefully June 5, 2014, surrounded by his family.
Bob was born June 26, 1929 in Kansas City, Missouri. His parents were Hugh and Ellen Ivey. The family resided in Pocatello, Idaho, where Bob went to St. Joseph's Catholic School and Pocatello High School where he participated in football, track and boxing. He was an Eagle Scout. He was also a member of the Idaho National Guard for nine years. 
Bob married Lonetta Larsen on February 2, 1954 in Pocatello, Idaho, and had four children; Rob Ivey (Deanna), Kim Ivey Madsen (Rock), Jacqueline Anne Parkin (Blair), and Kirk Ivey (Miriam).
Bob was an avid outdoorsman who loved to fish. He enjoyed bowling and was the president of the Pocatello Bowling Association for two years. He was also the park president of Irving Little League. His hobbies were wide and varied including golfing and carpentry. He loved to play competitive pool and even attempted a game a week before his death. He was a permanent fixture at the Senior Center and helped and participated in the Senior Games. He also loved to play cards with his family, especially Hearts, and was wickedly good at it.
Bob was a very service-oriented man. He often did house repairs for the widows in the neighborhood and has continuously performed acts of service for others throughout his life. He was smart, kind, funny and onery. 
Bob was preceded in death by his wife, Lonetta Larsen Ivey, his parents, Hugh and Ellen Ivey, his siblings: James Ivey, Roberta Jean Ivey and Julia Mauk. He is survived by his four children and their spouses, his grandchildren: Brant Ivey, Christopher Ivey, Todd Ivey, Natalie Hardy (Brant), Troy Tanner (Stephanie), Jessica Albanese (Renato), Jordan Tanner, Heather Sayer (Jeremy), Whitney Parkin and Brady Parkin. He is also survived by 16 great-grandchildren. Thank you to his wonderful home helpers, Rita Elliott and Jolene Nelson, and caring staff at PMC.
Memorial services will be held on Tuesday, June 10, 2014 at 11:00 am in the Cornelison Funeral Chapel, 431 North 15th Ave., where the family will receive friends from 10 am until service time. Interment will follow services in the Mountain View Cemetery. Arrangements are under the direction of the Cornelison Funeral Home, 431 N. 15th Ave., Pocatello, 232-0542. Condolences may be sent to the family online at www.cornelisonfh.com - See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/idahostatejournal/obituary.aspx?n=robert-hugh-ivey&pid=171265574#sthash.eBN1n5xB.dpuf

We would always joke around during our Sunday card game about people being "Bob" when they took too long to play. Meanwhile, he was counting cards and figuring out how to win.

This poem is something that helped me through the hard times.

His death shook me harder than I expected, as we had surgery on the same day and the surgery he had was one I had survived earlier in the year. It took me time to get over his passing, which is why this post has taken so long. I still miss him. I still wish he were here. I still wish things could be different. However, I know, without a doubt, that he is happy and with his family now. He is not suffering physically. His reunion was sweet in Heaven and I look forward to the day when I can see him again, hug him and let him know how much I love him and how much he's warrior-like strength has helped me.

Love you Grandpa. Until We Meet Again.